Mission to Irk
by The Great Invader ZIM
Summary: It begins as a normal rainy day on Earth, but something has gone wrong in the neighborhood out by Irk...
1. A Massacre on Irk

Disclaimer: Well

Disclaimer: Well. It would appear that I was incorrect with the disclaimer bit in 'Remember Me?' chapter one. I am getting rid of my web page 'cause Homestead wants me to pay them…HAHAHAHAHA!!! Me, pay Homestead? Oooh, I'm laughin'! Anyway, check out ZIM Music Video fic for the disclaimy-'claimer.

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Another skoolday. Ms. Bitters was near the end of a long lecture on flesh-eating viruses and basically how everyone and everything was doomed. ZIM wasn't paying attention, and neither was Dib. They were each drawing a picture; ZIM's of himself with an Irken flag on top of Earth, Dib's of a slightly mangled ZIM shrieking at a giant scalpel coming down from the sky. As the bell rang, small droplets of rain pattered against the ground, and all the children save Dib and ZIM went out to play in the wetness.

ZIM ignored Dib, who was following him, walked out into the rain without a glance back, and began his walk home completely without cries of pain from the water or sizzling skin. He had begun to cover himself in paste every day, just to insure that the water incident of recent times never repeated itself.

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Disguise gone, ZIM walked over to a computer console. GIR was bouncing around while the Irken pondered whether to report in to the Tallest or not. Just as he was deciding to not contact his leaders, a transmission on emergency frequency came in from the Tallest.

"Sirs!" ZIM exclaimed, but he then realized that this was a one-way transmission being sent out to all Irkens.

Static brushed across the screen for a moment, and ZIM wondered why. 

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Purple was getting ready to announce the emergency message and Red could be seen in the background, firing a laser pistol wildly at the opened door.

The Tallest turned to Red and glared, not caring that he was keeping many Irkens waiting and confused.

"Oh, you _love _lasers so much, yet you can't use one _to save your life?!_" Purple snarled at the panicking Red, his insult seen by all the Invaders.

The other Tallest shot an angry look right back. "Just make the damn distress call, this blaster's running out of power! Tell those Invaders to get over here now!! Do it!" he yelled, closing one eye to line up a shot of something that was attempting to come through the doorway.

"Attention all Invaders! Irk is under attack! A planet we thought under control is evidently not…the slaughtering rat people have escaped from Blorch by way of our own spaceships and are--" Red cut him off.

"--They're basically causing a massacre here. All Invaders enter your emergency codes and prepare for immediate teleportation to Irk! Bring weapons – lots of them – and anything else lethal. That would be _real _helpful now! Teleportation initiated in sixty seconds and counting, Invaders!" Red shouted over the communicator, then he whipped around and started shooting again.

Purple touched the screen in front of him. "End transmission" he commanded, and then turned to Red. "_I _was going to make the announcement!" he whined with a slight grin.

Red returned the smile – sometimes humor does so help a desperate situation – and tossed a spare laser pistol to Purple. "Too bad," he said. "Now just start shooting!"

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ZIM stared at the now blank screen. Irk? Under attack? Impossible!! His mind raced as his fingers flew equally fast over the keyboard in front of him, typing in his emergency code. Was there anything he had discovered here on Earth that would be useful against the rat people of Blorch? The only thing he could possibly think of was water, but that only caused a very serious reaction to Irken skin to his knowledge.

To his knowledge… 

_ _

It couldn't hurt to try…for his own race…it might work… 

"GIR, get me a container full of water and a package of water balloons! I'm going to Irk to help the Tallests. You stay here and guard the house," he barked at the robot. GIR stood up and grew serious, his eyes growing red. With his eyes still red, GIR actually complied with ZIM's request and within moments the Irken had a full water cooler bottle and an extra large package of water balloons – from where he couldn't fathom – and was ready to go to Irk. There were only ten seconds left until the transportation was activated.

As ZIM counted the remaining seconds down in his mind, he felt both himself and the bottle he was sitting on turn into pure energy. In a matter of a few instants he was sitting on a water cooler bottle with a package of empty water balloons in the teleportations arrival room of Irk. Other Invaders, all taller than him, surrounded him; all sporting lasers of some kind and some had smoke grenades too.

They were all ready for war.


	2. Save the Planet

Disclaimer: Refer to the statement in Remember Me

Disclaimer: Refer to the statement in Remember Me? Chapter Two or my new webby-page, INVASION! Version 2.0

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ZIM hopped off the water cooler bottle as the other Irkens rushed past him with laser rifles. He spied a hovering transport – like a wagon with no wheels that floated, really – and used put the bottle of water on it. Opening a cork in the top to get water, ZIM made a water balloon. Holding it his hand, he turned to the door and walked out.

Before ZIM took in the matters at hand, he relished the everywhere color of magenta that was his planet. Completely rebuilt from the Operation: Impending Doom One incident, Irk was again in its glory. But the VootRunners firing wildly at the thousands of slaughtering rat people from Blorch on the ground killed the mood entirely. 

Cries of Irkens resounded every few seconds as the slaughtering rat people continued attacking. ZIM decided now was a good a time as any to see if water would work against the rat people. As two slaughtering rat people overtook an Invader nearby, ZIM arched his arm back and threw the blue water balloon at the rat people. The thin layer of rubber burst on the nearer of the two rat people and as it did…

…The two rat people exploded as well.

The Invader writhed in agony from the water for a little bit, but as he stood with his skin now breaking out into a hideous rash, it was evident he was glad to be alive. When the Invader saw who it was that saved him, it was safe to say he was mildly shocked.

"ZIM?! What are _you_ doing here? Aren't you dead?" he asked, his words almost a shriek as the individual battles when on around the two Invaders. "And what _was _that thing you hit those two filthy rat people with?"

"I am very alive, and I am here in answer to the Tallests emergency call." ZIM, oblivious to the incredulous look the Invader was giving him, continued. "That was a water balloon filled with a substance I found on Earth called 'water.'"

The Invader, standing half a foot above ZIM, rubbed his arms. "It hurt like hell," he commented. He looked up and saw ZIM leaving, another water balloon at the ready.

"Where are you going?!" he called out to ZIM.

The tiny Invader turned. "To rain doom down onto the heads of these rat people, of course, foolish amateur!" ZIM cried out, getting a maniacal glint in his eye. As ZIM headed towards the building in which Red and Purple were, the Invader he saved told all other about the deadly weapon ZIM had.

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Purple looked out of the cracked window with an extremely worried expression. "We're getting slaughtered, how very fitting." He had long since discarded his blaster, its energy completely drained. Red was trying everything possible to prolong his existence by tapping are the keys on the consoles in the room as the barricaded door buckled under the power of the numerous slaughtering rat people running into it, and then cursing in high-pitched squeaks.

"The problem isn't lack of weapons…it's just that there's too many of them," Purple muttered to the window while Red cursed the computers as they refused to work.

The other Tallest turned to Purple. "They've chewed through the cables somehow, we don't have power in this room." He glared at the computer as if it was its fault.

"At least they can't get in," Purple said, casting a glance at the window to see if the tides of the battle had turns, but, alas, the Invaders were only able to fend off the rat people.

Suddenly the sound of a squishy explosion was hear from out in the hall just on the other side of the door. Purple and Red both waited, for there was nothing else to do. As the door slid open, the person they least expected to see came in.

"ZIM?!" the Tallests exclaimed in unison.

The Invader saluted, and then gasped, threw a strange object threw the opened door, and closed the door as another explosion was heard.

"What did you just do?" Purple asked of ZIM.

"I brought some water from that pitiful planet Earth, and it seems that the rat people explode upon contact with it." ZIM grinned proudly.

Red waved the explanation away. "Whatever it is, just go get more of it!" he yelled, and ZIM did so.

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What happened after that was this: ZIM returned to Earth and took enough water to Irk to make another giant water balloon. He then dropped it onto Irk, and the slaughtering rat people on Irk were destroyed. They were not all the slaughtering rat people, though. When ZIM dropped the big water balloon, he forgot to mention the allergic reaction Irkens have to water, so all the Irkens on Irk got very painful rashes. Although most of the buildings crumbled, ZIM was told since he saved Irk, he could ask for one thing when he needed it most. ZIM was honored by this, and he went back to Earth to resume his mission, knowing that if the situation got too bad, he could always call in the Armada, or _something._

And it was so that ZIM saved the Irkens using water.


End file.
